Maldizpost - My Blog

(My Band)

(Intro)

I don't know, dude ...

I think everyone's all jealous and shit cause I'm like,

the writer of a Stand-up Comedy blog, dude...

And I think everyone's got a fuckin' problem with me dude

Just because I’m acquainted with most of them...

And they have to put up with me after the show

Because I really admire and respect their job, their work, their art

And I feel like telling them the way I feel

‘Cause I ain’t no groupie and when I say I feel something

You may be positive that it is for real

(Chorus)

These people don't even know the name of my blog
But they're all licking themselves like dogs
Cause once I write they know that I'll be the woman
All because I'm the only writer of my blog
My blog (repeated 8x)

So I start off typing and drop the pen

Walk up to the shows and I'm all like

What's up?! My name is Inês Ramos

And I really admire your work, friend

They're all like nice and take pics. with me

Kelly, oh, my fuckin' God, it's her again

I swear to fuckin' God, that bitch sets me an outrage

I’m so jealous! I should be the one going to the backstage!

And by now the rest of the girls get so uptight

When I start talking with comedians and they tell me I’m bright

All the chicks start yellin', all the hot babes in pink

What are they? Some kind of cult? No stupid, they are people who think!

So like them every single night I like to think too

And when I think I like to publish my thoughts for all of you

'Cause they're back on stage the next night and I’ll be

There, supporting them and they like to hear from me

Yesterday I was chatting with this girl from #Levanta-te e Ri

Because I told her I befriended with MH

This groupie shit, gets me sick, and gave me an headache

And almost all the other girls just despise me because

(Chorus)

These chicks don't even know the name of the guys

But they're all on them like they wanna get wise

Or maybe get to know them and their personal lives

Do they actually know most of them have kids and wives?

My blog (repeated 8x)

(Verse 2)

You just wanna hold hands and hear their jokes, don't you?

Hey, why don’t you groupies ask them out on a date?

Dreaming of a private performance and breakfast in bed?

But that’s the kind of thing I guess that makes them sad

Askin’ for their autograph, I guess It’s ok…

And no, I don’t think it’s wrong to sing “Mr. Gay”

What the hell is wrong with me going to the dressing room?

‘Cause I look like crap and I’m not all prissy-tied up like you sodding bitches?

See I know what it is all about, it's simple but it makes you itches

All I did was read as many books as I could

So I have more knowledge? I’m not trynna get on the map

Doin' fake acts while get whipped on my back

(Verse 3)

Look at her, lil’ prissy blonde cunt thinkin' she’s all that

Yeah, I know, man, find herself tapping comedians on the back

Hey, she’s pathetic calling their attention with a mini-skirt

(All those chicks are lil’ piggies diggin’ on the same dirt)

You gonna be late for the rehearsal

Bitch, I ain't goin' to the rehearsal…Are you crazy?

Rehearsal is only for the stage director!

You know what, looks like one of those cunts wants to say somethin'

Hey, yo, Inês

(A Eu: You got somethin' to say?!)

Sorry, no

I thought you 'bout to tell her off, Vanda, what's up

Bitch, I'ma tell her when I feel like it, Marlene, shut up

And you ain't even back me up when we s'posed to be girlfriends

When I was 'bout to talk right after you

I swear, I swear girl

(Chorus)

These chicks don't even know the name of my blog

But they're all on Him like they wanna hold hands

'Cuz once the show starts they know that He is The Man

All because he is the lead singer with no band!

(Verse 4)

They say some comedians rock, but most of them do not

Once they sold out arenas to the amusement park

I'm gonna let the world know that Stand Up Comedy is hot

No one should say a peep when the show starts

No hecklers, not even a fucking dumbass fan

Every time I'hear Hey Miss, I love your blog

This is just a blog, bitch, give me a little break

It’s not a bloody fan-site ‘cuz that’s phony and fake

And these girls they can find every official site these guys have

(A Eu: Let me just stop here for a lil’ fag…)

Bitch, I’m getting sick and tired of this rap…

Can't make it to the stage, security in your way

Who the fuck are you? Where's your backstage pass?!

(Verse 5)

God dammit, I'm sick of this groupie shit

Time to go solo and make some loot

I told you I made the blog and wrote all the texts

Even translated stuff from Bill Hicks

Listenning to Ena Pá 2000, Cebola Mol and other freaks…

Like Catita Brothers, Ultraje a Rigor, and other funny geeks…

From programs like Flash, I got some suggestions

Fuck true admirers, lets ask cute groupies the questions

Like who are they? How this comedy thing started?

What about Pedro Tochas?

Bitch, are you retarded?

Anyway, Like he always says “I'm the King of Stand Up Comedy

Fat bigass stomach, bitches think I'm cute…

Then Rui Unas told me to do sit-ups to get buff

I did two and a half and then I couldn't get up!

Fuck Sit-Ups, I'm outta this shit

I'm gonna do Stand Up Comedy and drink Frize to get fit!

(A Eu)

Bitch why can't you see you're one stupid cunt

And it just tears my ass apart to know that you are so damn’ blunt

(Chorus)

These chicks don't even know the name of the guys (Ha, ha)

But they're all on them like they wanna get wise (Fuck ‘em!)

Or maybe get to know them and their personal lives

Do they actually know most of them have kids and wives?

My blog (repeated 9x)

(Outro)

The hottest comedy blog in the world ...

(A Eu)

I'm the only writer of my blog, I write all the texts of my blog

I'm the author and the mentor of my blog, my blogspot

Makes all the clever people wanna laugh

My blogspot, look out for my next blog, it's called My Blog

My blog, blog, blog, blog, my blog

Makes all the intelligent people want to smile

And laugh their socks off

My blog makes all smart masses want to laugh

And laugh their socks off, my blog

(Where'd everybody go?)