Dairy Milk

Why the fuck do they call it «dairy milk»?

Can somebody tell me?

Every motherfuckin' commercial is «dairy milk»... MILK? Man, you know that ain't no motherfuckin' «milk»... And that ain't no fuckin' «dairy» either!

THAT'S FUCKING CHOCOLATE, LADIES... AND WE KNOW IT.

I KNOW IT.

They don't fool me...

I got a message for all those markting creatives that thought that it was a good idea to put the words «dairy milk» in the wrapping paper...

The message is: It's not working.

Nop. Not for me. You miss the point there, fella. You can cheat everybody but not me. Not me.

I mean you could call it «Cadbury Fresh Veggies» still I wouldn't believe what your motherfuckin' asses were saying... Uh-huh... Not me.

IT IS BROWN, MOTHERFUCKER... MILK IS WHITE.

MILK IS WHITE. NO MATTER IF IT'S «DAIRY» OR «DIARY» OR «DEAR»... UNLESS IT'S A CHOCOLATE MILKSHAKE MILK IS *ALWAYS* WHITE.

NO MATTER WHAT...

CHOCOLATE IS BROWN. MILK IS WHITE.

Now tell me, how hard can that be?

ARE YOU FUCKING GUYS DALTONIC OR SOMETHING???

What about "WHITE CHOCOLATE"?

Yeah, what about it, fuckhead?

Once and for all, there's no such thing as «WHITE CHOCOLATE».

Call me racist, a food-racist if you will, but trust me that you've been being cheated all the time...

Trust me on this, there's no such thing as white chocolate. No such thing. Really.

The thing you call white chocolate... Well, that's pretty much MILK.

That's why Kinder candy bars have more milk than chocolate, get it?

One of these days I was eating one and I went like:

«Wow! This MILK they put on Kinder...

It really tastes like WHITE MOTHERFUCKIN' CHOCOLATE!»